Improve Your Relationships with Others by Turning the Focus Inward

We all want to think we have things figured out.  We think we know other people well, what they are thinking, feeling, what they will do next, etc.  But how well do we know ourselves?

Have you ever watched a movie and been blown away by the ending?  I know I have and I’m pretty good at figuring out where a plot twist will come in.  We can’t always predict what is going to happen in life either.  What it boils down to is that we see situations and other people through our eyes only.  We have each lived through different circumstances, had different trials and life tests.  We think can predict what someone else is thinking through their previous words or actions or based on what we would think in a given situation.  What it leaves us with are assumptions.

When someone says or does something, we  need to evaluate our own thoughts to see where we stand instead of thinking we know the other person so well.

Something I’ve noticed that I have to work much harder on is owning my own thoughts and perceptions, recognizing them and working to improve myself where I can instead of trying to change the other person.  Take a look at what I’ve been noticing and please share your thoughts.  I am hoping it helps you to see things in a new way as well:

When I See Someone as:      My Truth in That Moment is:

Annoying                                I need to work on my patience level

Loud                                        I need to patiently realize their need to be heard

Distracting                              I need to find a way or a different place to focus

Very Demanding                    I need to understand that person needs my help

Taking Forever                        I need to breathe and find patience

Judging Me                             I should realize they are allowed their opinions

Out to Get Me                         I need to not take things so personal

By turning the focus inward, I am not as annoyed with the other person.  It is very easy to push the focus on someone else.  That requires much less work on our part.  But, if we can work on ourselves, it will bring inner peace by decreasing the stress we feel in these and other situations because once the work is done and we are able to correct how we see things, our frustration levels and short tempers will dissipate and we will be able to sharpen our communication skills with others and improve our relationships.

The best way to make the changes is to listen to your thoughts and recognize the need to turn the focus on yourself.

You can also keep a journal with you.  When you feel frustrated with someone write down what frustrates you instead of reacting to that person.  Then review if it’s something that you could work on changing within yourself.  You may even start to notice a pattern.

I challenge you now to come up with a few of these on your own.  Experiment with changing your perception of others to see first if what you are feeling is a sign of something you could personally work on. Feel free to share your findings below:

(Please share with on FaceBook or Twitter.)