What Do You Mean, You Don’t Like Me?

It should never be our goal in life to please everyone nor should we ever expect everyone to like us.

There will always be people who do not agree with our views or what we say, do or act around them, just as we too come across people we don’t like.  Everyone acts differently around different people.   Some people bring out the best in us and we can relate to them easily.  Some have an easy-going personality and aura, others do not.  Some people will make us uncomfortable or may offend us (sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally.)  There are others who engage in lifestyles that we just don’t agree with and that may cause us to feel uneasy.  For whatever reason, we were not all meant to get along.

It is usually the people we don’t get along with who don’t like us.  There are others who will not like you and you have no idea why because you enjoy them.  If the friendship, or even business relationship is important to you, it never hurts to ask if there is a reason for (their actions that make you think they don’t like you or words that they say that are indicators.)  It’s then on them to be honest or glaze over the subject.  The way they are acting may just be a part of their personality and you were just taking it personal or they may reveal a true issue, in which case, you have a starting point to work with.  This should only be done with people you truly care about or enjoy being around.

For those who are just acquaintances who you don’t particularly plan on having in your life, it’s not important that they like you, at least, it shouldn’t be.  There’s no need to waste your energy worrying about it.  I’ve watched and heard people, and even been guilty of, wasting hours of time that could have been spent being productive, happy and positive instead, being disappointed and racking my brain trying to figure what I may have done wrong for them to dislike.  Let it go.  As long as you are being your authentic self, it doesn’t matter.  You shouldn’t try to change who you are just to please someone else.

One of my favorite says is from Eleanor Roosevelt, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”  Let them think what they want.  You, go on living as you normally would.  One thing I like to point out often is that we are with ourselves 24/7.  We are the only ones who are.  The most important person we should care about liking us, is ourselves.

If you are interested in more tips on how to decrease your stress and increase your happiness, please see the sidebar for categories or titles that may be of interest to you and feel free to follow this and share it with others.  You can also visit my newest blog site, “Where the Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States,” for all things paranormal.  Check that one out at http://www.WhereTheGhostsLive.WordPress.com.  Thank you for stopping by.  Please leave a comment to show your support.  ❤

Missy Bell

Advertisements

On The Way To School – What Memories Are You Saving

When my children were young, we were on our way to drop them off at the school when we had an very unexpected surprise. I saw my father’s car parked outside the McDonald’s and decided to take them in quickly to see their grandpa. The excitement was so great that I decided to write the following poem for him to remember the moment.

This was about 12 years ago. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who remembers this encounter. The memory has been kept alive with the words on this screen. I hope you enjoy the poem…

On The Way To School

The children thought

That it was so cool.

They saw their grandpa

On the way to school.

We were driving to the drive-thru window

For soda to drink

When we saw his car parked outside,

Mom asked, “what do you think?”

The kids agreed.

They all went inside.

There he was, eating pancakes

With sausage on the side.

They ran up quickly,

To his surprise,

“Very unexpected!”

You can see it in his eyes.

He hugged them all.

It made their day.

But unfortunately,

We had no time to stay.

Everyone had places to go

And people to see.

But that chance meeting

Filled their hearts with glee.

They told their friends

That it was so cool,

They saw their grandpa

On the way to school.

This is one of the poems featured in my published book of poetry, “Heart Versus Mind: Words That Touch Your Heart.”

I challenge you to start writing your favorite memories down in your own words, in your own style so that you may revisit these happy times, especially when times are tough. It could be your own words that brighter your day.

What do you choose to remember? Write something every day. The act of recording the good moments in your day will also make you reflect on and be grateful for those moments.

10 Ways to Improve Your Self Image

When Ashley Monroe from my home town was 16, she recognized the need to do something drastic.  She was tired of hearing everyone in her high school putting themselves down.  She wrote, “You’re Beautiful” on 1,986 sticky notes and placed them on every locker to make a statement.  My son was one of the recipients of these notes and was very touched by it.  Many of those students had gotten into a place where they were putting themselves down initially for attention but after a while, started to believe what they were saying about themselves.

It’s a shame that so many of us see ourselves in a negative light.  I have spoken with so many people who are told they are beautiful but still choose to not believe it.  We are so busy criticizing ourselves and assuming what others are thinking about us and worrying about them judging us that we do not take the time to appreciate the good things about ourselves.

Back In Time

Let’s stroll back in time and take a look at some of the things you remember being told about yourself.  Did people point out what they thought were your physical imperfections?  Did they tell you that you were not good enough at something you really wanted to do?  Did someone simply just have a way of berating you and making you feel “less-than?”  Or were you the culprit, keeping yourself down with negative self talk? You may have chosen to believe it simply because it was said or you heard it in your own voice. You may have even trusted the person it came from.

We also watch what others do and are capable of and we compare our best to theirs and if we don’t match that in our own eyes, instead of working harder, putting in the time and focusing on just improving where we start from, we lie to ourselves.  We say that we are not good enough to compete with them.  The thing is, often times we don’t stop there.  Those thoughts start reminding us of all the ways we did not measure up in our own minds and we end up believing that we just aren’t good enough, period.  This sets us up for all kinds of future issues.  Have you ever caught yourself doing this?

What you may not have realized was that you actually had the choice to hold on to it or discard it.  We also have the choice to believe that when it comes to competing, we should only compete with ourselves.  We all have our own starting points and should compare ourselves only to our most recent best.

Making the Change

Are you ready to put all of this behind you?  Only you have the power.  It may seem unnatural at first because of what you are used to, but if you make the following steps a habit, you will guarantee yourself some freedom from that negativity you keep hearing inside your own head.

1.  You must stop listening to other people’s negativity.  If someone has something to say to you that is negative, dismiss it immediately.  Do not get defensive and argue about it with someone because adding emotion to the situation causes the memories and the pain of it to last longer.  Remember that some people are just insecure or angry and lash out at other people without regard for their feelings.  Often times it comes from insecurity and is not the truth.

2.  Always be aware of your thoughts.  Pay close attention to what you hear yourself saying inside your own head.  Follow the above instructions by dismissing the negative immediately.

3.  Question what you once thought was truth.  Realize that the only things that are actually true are things you decide to believe.

4.  Make a change only under your own terms.  For instance, if someone comments negatively about your weight, whether the scale reflects what they say or not, never make the change based on their comments.  Only make changes for yourself.  If you are not ready for the change and do something to make a statement based on someone else’s judgment, any results you experience will not be lasting.

5.  Call the person out on it if you are comfortable.  State the opposite aloud.  If someone tells you that you’re hair looks terrible, thank them and tell them that it wasn’t them you were trying to impress and that you happen to like it that way.  Do not let them have power over your thoughts.

6.  Affirm the opposite.  In correlation with number 5, use a positive statement to counteract what someone has said or what you are saying in your head, such as, instead of, “I look fat in this dress,” use, “I look amazing in this dress.  I am so glad I made the choice to wear it today,” and BELIEVE that statement.  Affirming the positive will lessen the chances of the negative sticking in your head.  Creating any kind of affirmation and repeating it on a daily basis to counteract something you feel you are stuck on and posting where you can repeat it aloud before bed and in the morning is a very efficient way to create change.

7.  Eliminate past judgments.  For the old tapes we play in our head that were perhaps from ourselves, our parents, siblings, friends or relatives years ago, discard the tape or tape over it.  Remind yourself that the person may have thought they were helping you in some way but in no way were they telling you the truth.

8.  Do the opposite. Perhaps you quit at something when you were young because you didn’t like it.  It does not make you a quitter.  Find something you like and stick with it and you will create a new positive label.

9.  Forgive.  It is important when trying to let something go that you forgive the person who you feel is responsible for placing a label or negative thought in your head but at the same time realize, only you have the power to believe what someone says about you.  It does not need to be your truth.

10. Simply relax and never, ever, take things personal.  This cannot be stressed enough.  So many things are said carelessly by others and once out of their mouths they have forgotten what they even said.  By taking something personal you are not only assuming how it was meant but you set yourself up to hold onto that negative.  Feel free to ask questions as to why the person said what they did.  Having clarification may help you to understand it was not meant as a personal attack.

Feel free to print these steps out and place them on your fridge or bathroom mirror where you can be reminded of them on a regular basis.

Taking these steps will hopefully start you in the right direction of starting to see yourself in a much kinder light and lead you toward a greater inner peace and happiness. This will alleviate some of the stress and anxiety you may feel when you are out amongst others.  Not everyone is judging you.  Most people who do not know you will look at you and look away without a second thought.  Those who interact with you, if they are a person of integrity, will see you for who you are through your personality.

One of my favorite quotes is from Bernard Burach which states, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  Keep this quote in mind when faced with the judgment of others.

Please discuss below ways you would recommend for other people to help them see themselves in a better light.

(For additional tips, advice, videos and inspirations to increase your inner peace and happiness please see more posts and categories to the right.  If you found this helpful, please share on Facebook or Twitter. You may sign up to follow by e-mail by clicking the Follow button at the top or bottom or through other options located on the right hand side of the page.  I appreciate you stopping by! )