What Is Your Relationship To Fear

(Did your watch the VERY SHORT 46 second video above?)  How did it make you feel?

Halloween is only days away.  There are currently so many different types of frightful events going on close to us this time of year.  We plan on visiting one of the scariest Haunted Theme Park’s in New England tonight, “Spookyworld – Nightmare New England.”  This got me thinking, if we can condition our bodies to get used to something, build up physical endurance, learn new coping mechanisms based on our experiences, etc., would it be possible to be completely fearless when something jumps out at us unexpectedly.  If we were surrounded by this on a consistent basis, could we become desensitized?  I suppose it would take extreme personal awareness and a great deal of energy to not be startled.

1385475_10151729930198456_636669772_nSo what is the psychology behind this type of fear?  Why do we love it, even crave it?  Perhaps it’s the adrenaline rush, that thrill we get after reacting to something so unexpected and the joy of watching our friends jump where they stand.  Perhaps it’s different for each of us.

For those of you who follow my other blog, Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States you may have already read that I recently visited an actual haunted house that is a hotbed for paranormal activity.  I didn’t have any problems with fear there, and I had a few encounters with the supernatural.  The problem is, that I am more afraid of the living than the dead.  With that being said, tonight should have me shaking in my sneaks.

What is your relationship to fear?  Do you like to be scared?  Do you seek out attractions like this so you can get that adrenaline rush?  Or does the thought of being frightened by someone in a mask or amazing makeup, or even a paranormal experience, make you want to run for the hills?  I want to hear from you…

Thank you for stopping by!

Missy Bell

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That’s Inspiring

I have asked this question before through Facebook and seem to get the same answers from a high number of people. They say that their children inspire them.  A friend of mine posed the same question to her friends and received a slightly different set of comments but it brought me back to the answer I received on mine.

I think it’s fantastic that your children inspire you.  Our children keep us young at heart and motivated to stay good people, amongst other things.  But it is important to think about what else inspires you.  What happens when your children are grown and have lives of their own?  You will need to be sure that you have many sources of inspiration to keep you going.  You should be sure that you are close to the top of that list.

When you draw from several sources, your options are wide open.  After giving it thought I came up with my own short list.  It is incomplete at the moment because I know I need to give it further thought.

InspirationI am inspired by challenges in my life that force me to look inside for strength.  I seem to thrive on the personal challenges that I take on, the challenges where I force myself to step outside the box and say, “I’m not really sure that I can do this,” then I do it. I’ve learned to stop looking for outside motivation as often, I turn within.  I find ways to pull my own energy into higher thought and search my spirituality for inspiration and encouragement.  When I need it externally, I read different authors such as, Napoleon Hill, Bob Proctor, Don Miguel Ruiz, Anthony, etc.  I talk with my family, they know me well enough to give me strength in just the right areas when I need it.  I am inspired by dreams of my future, friends, reminding myself of what I’m grateful for, other people’s accomplishments, music, love, hope and happiness. 

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have more than one source of inspiration and to know what know what they are.  It will help you get out of situations when you find you’re having a bad day.  Make your list, include as much as possible.  You can write it or create a collage.  Keep your list with you.  Draw from it on your down days or when you need a pick-me up.  Reading or looking at it will trigger happier thoughts to help you move forward.

If you can create your own inspiration, you have truly won.  Be sure to find ways to be your own hero and inspiration.  There is nothing truly like it.

Thank you for stopping by.  Please check out the list of other inspirational posts in the side bar.

Missy Bell

My Unborn Child – Fascinating Results From My Tarot Reading

In the spring of ‘95

You were due to be born

I find after all this time

I still do mourn

I wonder if there was anything

That I could have done

But then I think

Of our second son

I shouldn’t be sad

But after 18 years

I still find that

My eyes fill with tears

It’s human nature

To play that “What if” game

In my heart I know

Our lives wouldn’t be the same

I can’t help but wonder

After all was said and done

If he is your spirit

The two of you are one

Maybe you just weren’t ready

To be born in May

Perhaps July 28th

Was your special day

I still mourn you

Because I guess I’ll never know

So my love and appreciation

For him does grown

I’ll think of you often

And blow kisses to the sky

To my long lost child

My girl, or my guy

I’ll think of you still

And hope that one day

We will meet in Heaven

This is what I pray

I wrote this poem a long time ago.  Please don’t be sad.  I dug this up because I had a tarot card reading the other day and the woman explained to me that my daughter, whom she did not know about, is the one who is causing doors to slam, footsteps in the hall, cold spots in the house, door handles jiggling, voices that more than one of us hear at the same time, what felt like knees in my back from the backseat of the car, seeing “shadow children,” and the TV turning off and on.  I was told she is a prankster and likes to hide things on my son’s girlfriend just to mess with her.  I asked Nic if her things go missing when she is here, without explaining what I knew.  She said yes.  She puts things in places and later they are moved.

I am fascinated by all of this.  It brings me peace and comfort to think that she has been with us off and on.  I will forever cherish that information.  It makes me feel that after all this time, I never really lost her.

Unborn Child Tarot ReadingThis was my first ever tarot reading and I almost didn’t do it.  I had wanted a palm reading instead but they were too busy.  I guess it was meant to be.

For further information about my tarot reading, keep an eye on my other blog site, Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States ~ Missy Bell.

Destined For Greatness – A Poem for the Special Ed Teacher

DESTINED FOR GREATNESSDestined for Greatness

 

 

I am destined for greatness

This much I know

Exactly how I’ll get there

Only time will show

 

I believe I owe you thanks

For whom I will one day be

Because you have shown

So much faith in me

 

You have taught me lessons

Both big and small

I will do my best

To remember them all

 

So many days I struggled

To pay attention to what you say

You showed me patience and love

And forgave me those days

 

You have stood by me

Trying to find what works best

I’m sure all that you’ve learned

Has been put to the test

 

I truly feel

That you believe in me

That’s why am destined for greatness

You will someday see

Increase Happiness and Have More Peace in Your Life

1384302_10151680609588456_86415627_nI wanted to do a brief recap of what I have been up to with this blog site.  I reached 50 posts yesterday and I wanted to run down a brief description of my top 10 favorites, (including a few that have two parts.)  I hope you’ll take a moment and find one that will resonate with you and spend a few minutes reading it.  I promise, it could make a big difference in your life by bringing a smile to your face, reducing your stress, making you feel inspired, giving you new strategies or provide you with a new perspective that could make all the difference in your life or in many others ways.  My goal with this site is to do a little bit of all of that for as many people as possible.  Please feel free to share this as often as you’d like so I can serve my purpose of helping many.

I’ve been told that I have it easy in life.  I’ve been told I have it all and I’m lucky to be so happy.  Luck.  That’s not the word I would use.  I am happy because I choose to be and I put a great deal of effort behind it. I have not been immune to tragedies, disappointments and negative circumstances, tt’s all a matter of what I have chosen to do with my life; how I choose to see it and what I choose to feel and think about it.  That is how I guess I make it look easy.  It’s because it can be.  All of it.  Nothing needs to be so difficult.  It takes work, all of it.  So, as I learn by living my life the best way I know how, including falling and getting up and dusting myself off, I discover new ways of how to help myself and in turn, I share them with you here.  After all, I feel we are on this earth to help each other get through it.  All that being said, take my hand.  I will lead you down a few of my paths of self discovery and what has come from them.  Hopefully, you will find my posts of help to you in your life.  If so, please “like” the ones you enjoyed and follow this page.

It was not easy to choose only 10 out of the 50 so please review the categories to see if there is something else that would be helpful to you.  Follow this blog for future inspirations, tips and hints on how to increase your peace and happiness.  (If you see a few that you are interested in reading, simply right click and open each one in a new tab so you can come back to the others.)

TOP 10 OF 50 – To Read, Click the Titles

  1. “The Affects of Stress and How to Begin Reducing It” and “Live By Your Own Rules – Stress Reduction Part 2,” is the first series I blogged about due to its importance to our health.  With some of the most major results of stress being deadly, I felt it was important to start with this subject by helping you to gain a better understanding of stress, what causes it and how to reduce it. With this information we can begin our journey to a happier life with greater peace. I hope you will read these, if nothing else.  It may honestly help you live longer.
  2. “United, Through the Sorrow, the Tears, the Humanity, the Trauma, the Healing – A September 11 Tribute,” takes you through a personal experience of September 11, 2001 and looks at how we, as a country are still dealing with our emotions from the tragedies of that day, more than 12 years ago.  I was actually awakened out of a dead sleep in tears, pulled to write this piece.  I am very proud of it.
  3. “22 Plus Years of Marriage – Our Secrets Revealed – Part 1,” and “22 Years of Marriage – Our Secrets Revealed – Part 2,” are actually in 2 parts due to the amount of important information.  I put a great deal of work into this.  I have been told that my husband and I are “lucky.”  The truth is, luck had nothing to do with us being together for this long.  It has taken a lot of work to make our relationship last and to get through the tough times.  These tips are part of what made it possible.  Every day we work at what we have so we can keep it.  Are you willing to do what it takes?  Read these two and find out.  Perhaps you will find a few tips that will help your relationship and some that I missed that you are willing to share.
  4. “How Well Do You Know Yourself,” is a very personal piece that takes a look inside who I am and how I was labeling myself inaccurately.  I let you in on the secrets of how I came to that realization.  It will make you think about yourself, where you are in your life and whether or not the labels you are placing on yourself are even true and how to move past them so you can improve your own life.
  5. Of all the poems I have written over my lifetime, “Heart Versus Mind,” is one of my many favorites.  It is the title of my poetry book that I have had published, “Heart Versus Mind: Words That Touch Your Heart by Missy Bell,” that is available at Amazon.com.  It is about a battle that ensues between our heart and our mind when we feel that we are in love and cannot be with that person.  If you love poetry, I highly recommend picking up a copy of my book.
  6. “Strategies to Stop Worrying.”  I love this piece.  If you find yourself consumed with worry, these strategies are amazing for helping you through it.  It talks about how worrying affects your body and mind and gives you practical solutions for situations within our control as well as how to reduce anxiety over the things you cannot control.  There are exercises included that help you evaluate what you are feeling and teach you how to change it.
  7. In, “A Simple Tip on How to Show Yourself Some Love,” I share with you a situation from my youth that helped change the way I look at things.  This was my first introduction to affirmations, although I didn’t know it then.  I composed a list of affirmations for you to print out to help you get started toward improving your self image.  This idea had a great response from readers through comments on the blog as well as on my Facebook.
  8. “Overcoming Fear – Tips and Strategies Part 1 – Heart Versus Mind” and Overcoming Fear – Part 2 – Tips and Strategies are a two part series that includes amazing ways to let go, overcome and conquer fear of just about any kind.  Fear can cripple us and stop us from doing things we would otherwise love.  I talk about the different types of fear, where they come from and how to move past them.  What is fear preventing you from accomplishing?
  9. “What Do You Mean, You Don’t Like Me.”  assures you that, not everyone will like us.  This post discusses why it is important to not let it bother you and gives you ways of looking at different situations so you are not as affected when you encounter a situation where you are butting heads with someone.  It also discusses the importance of responding (or not,) instead of just reacting.
  10. “20 Ideas That Give You More Time in Your Day,” gives you just what the title suggests.  Who couldn’t use more time in their day?  These tips are perfect for finding more time and getting more done or to have more time for relaxing or perusing your dreams.  What would you do with more time?

I am confident that you will find something in this lineup to help you increase your peace and happiness and reduce your stress.  With now more than 50 posts to choose from, there is sure to be many that you will resonate with.  I truly appreciate you stopping by, now, in the past and in the future.  I hope you will like and share this site as there will be a lot more to come.  You can also like me at my Facebook page, “Words That Touch Your Heart.”  My other blog is called, “Where the Ghosts Live.”  The Facebook for that site is “Where the Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States.”

Missy Bell

The Power to Change Your Future

Conceive Believe AchieveI have always believed in the power of affirmations to change ones life.  They can be that powerful.  I remember learning this several years ago at a seminar created by Bob Proctor.

We were told to state what we want in the positive as if we already own it or it is already part of who we are.  Do not see a negative, turn it into a positive and write it out.  Place it as a hard copy in the form of a sticky note or on a white board, wherever.  We were told to make sure to read it aloud, three times a day and state it like we mean it.  Have no doubts.  The power of the Law of Attraction will manifest it.  I’ve tried this many times and have been successful with it.

There are so many ways to use the Power of Attraction to get what you want from life but you can also use it to become who you want, to forgive yourself, to push yourself to work harder, think smarter, forgive yourself, etc.  The possibilities are endless with this technique.  If you haven’t tried it already, give it a shot.  You have nothing to lose.  Bookmark this page.  Come back in a week and let me know how you feel, what you used and how it has helped you.  Some things will take longer to manifest. Believing is a very powerful component.  If you do not believe, you will not achieve.  It takes several weeks to develop a habit.

Here is an affirmation I wrote last night in response to a blog I read, entitled, Take All the Chances You Get

“The control is mine to make new decisions to change my current situation. The past is the past. I cannot correct it but I can absolutely change the direction of my own future.”

Another example:

“I am healthy.  I make healthy choices for myself.  I nourish my body and take action daily to move more.  My body thanks me for the changes it is feeling.  I love who I am becoming.”

What affirmations have you used lately that you would like to share?

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope you will check out more posts by looking into the categories section to the right of this post for more inspirations and fear reducing tips.  Feel free to stop by my other blog, Where the Ghosts Live ~ Missy Bell.

The Power of Forgiveness

1385621_3516175440282_2062940749_nWho deserves your forgiveness?  Do you forgive people easily or hold onto whatever hurt they caused you?  How long do you hold onto it?  Why?

As you read this post, remember that you and I are not all that different.  I’m not sharing this story so you think I have huge self control or anything like that.  I have just come to realize a few things about life and myself that perhaps other people have just not come to realize yet.  Life is a learning process and is gradual.  We all learn things in our own way and in our own time.

The other day I was reading my Sister-In-Law’s blog post and it really resonated with me.  I wanted to share my response to her post with you (I have edited it so it becomes complete as a stand alone post however.)

If would encourage you to check out her blog as well.  Here is the link: Mastering Forgiveness | Peggy Bell Nolan.

————————————————————-

On the 5th of November, 2012, I noticed that it was getting late and my 17 year old son, Austin, was still out with friends.  I was getting concerned about the time since he had school and work the next day.  I tried his phone and it went to voice mail.  Perhaps he was ignoring me.  I left a message that it was late and I would like him to head home, a message he would not actually hear until more than a week later.

About :30 minutes after I left the voice mail there was a knock at the door.  I answered and it was a police officer.  “Ma’am, is your son Austin Bell?”  My heart sank.  I don’t remember answering him.  “He was in an accident and the charge nurse needs you to call the hospital so they can get permission to transport him.”  He couldn’t give me any other details except that I needed to call the hospital.  I shut the door on the policeman and yelled for my husband as I collapsed onto the stairs.  I remember my oldest son staying out with the cop, us quickly grabbing a few things and the three of us heading out the door as we called the hospital.

I was extremely grateful to learn that he would eventually be OK but he needed to be transported to a hospital in Boston where they specialize in youth medicine.  He had a compound fracture of both bones in his left leg, below the knee and it needed to be reset.  The hospital he was in didn’t specialize in that.  It took us more than an hour to get to the hospital, then another :15 to find him.  When we walked in, the first thing he said was, “Mom, please don’t cry.  That won’t be good for either of us.”  His face was twice it’s normal size, swollen from all the glass that was embedded in his face and all the open lacerations from it and he was wearing a neck collar,  I will probably never be able to lose that image in my head.

I stayed at the hospital until he was released many days later, except for a 3 hour break to drive home and vote before returning to be by his side.

I learned Austin had been a back seat passenger in a car driven by a junior operator who illegally had people in her vehicle, unbeknownst to the passengers that it was illegal for her to drive with them in the car, and she drove into a tree.  She could have killed all 4 of them,  He had his seat belt on but just before the accident the car hit a bump in the road and the driver was driving too fast.  When they hit the bump, Austin grabbed the back of the seat in front of him, preventing the seat belt from locking.  The car swerved into another lane and was headed toward an oncoming car.  She jerked the car back into her lane, causing Austin to move from the area of the back seat where he was toward the middle of the backseat.  As almost with the same motion, the car was stopped dead when it hit a tree head on and during the impact he smashed his leg into the metal bar of the drivers seat and caught all the glass from the windshield that was deflected from the two front airbags, directly into his face.

I had never met the driver before and when he told me about the accident, I didn’t even know who she was.  I knew most of Austin’s friends, at least by name.  The moment she called him on the hospital phone to see how his surgery went, (He had a rod inserted into his leg to stabilize the bones to help them grow back together,) I told her that I was not angry with her.  I knew I couldn’t be.  If I was, that anger would consume me and where I needed to be emotionally was there for my son.  It was the only way we could heal quickly through that.

Austin didn’t need me to be angry, neither did she.  She already blamed herself and we later found out that a lot of the students in her school turned against her because of the accident.  She didn’t need me to add to that.  There wasn’t alcohol or drugs involved, just poor judgement.

I remember the first time I met her.  She had come to our house after he was out of the hospital.  It was hard for me.  I realized the forgiveness had not been 100% but I didn’t let on.  I reminded myself that it would not be good for any of us.  She was still healing too.  She shattered every bone in her face and had to have reconstructive surgery.  She hugged me and cried when she left.  I later received an incredible text from her thanking me for letting her into my home and welcoming her and she stressed how healing it had been for her.

Why do I share such a graphic story?  I’m hoping this may help you in some way.  I feel it is very important to forgive.  It’s not about the other person, it’s not about payback for something they did.  YOU don’t need to hold a grudge.  It is truly damaging to your own health much more than theirs.  The reason?  YOU need to live with these feelings of hatred or the feeling you need to get them back for whatever they did, a need for revenge.

It was easier to forgive this when it was done immediately. I didn’t let the negativity consume me before hand.  It was easier to move past this.  Austin is healed now and can actually run again. Tonight is his first night trying MMA and Kickboxing, 11 months after the accident/surgery.  Time healed the bones in his leg, the glass is gone, leaving him with only a few scars on his face and leg.  There are a few things he can’t do, but not many.  His recovery took about 8 months and he missed a great deal of his senior year.  He too, forgave, or perhaps, he never even blamed in the first place.  He was an inspiration through this.  This accident made him a stronger person and gave him the chance to prove who he was and just how strong his character is.  We would never want to repeat it but are grateful for what came out of it.  His recovery would not have been as quick and the emotional healing would have taken much longer if he had chosen not to forgive.  He could have chosen a “pity me” attitude but he didn’t.  He looked at this as what it was “an accident,” something he had no control over and could not change once it had happened.

I remember him saying, “there’s nothing I can do about it, might as well make the best of it.”

Forgiveness is for you.  It helps you heal and move on to a happier, healthier life.  You deserve that.  Holding on to the negativity can send you into depression and make you hold onto the initial feelings of emotional hurt and pain you felt from the situation.  You will re-live it over and over again.  Your ultimate goal should be to move on from whatever it is.

Are you ready to heal?  Are you ready to forgive?  If you don’t know where to start and talking to the person is not an option, write them a letter, releasing them from what happened, releasing your feelings of it and letting them know that you will be moving on, no longer carrying the pain of the situation with you.  Whether you send it or not is up to you.

Thanks for your thought provoking post that inspired this one Peggy!

If you are interested in reading more that will help you reduce stress and increase happiness, see the sidebar for more titles and categories.  Feel free to visit my other blog,Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States.

Missy Bell