Our First Miracle Child – Daniel Jacob

I remember laying wide awake with dark circles under my eyes, in deep silence, listening to the thunder crashing in the distance.  I was extremely sleepy but I rolled out of bed anyway, feeling like a drunkard.  It had been weeks since I slept well.  It was the last week in a very hot July and I was 42 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my anxiety was through the roof.  I had tried everything from going off-roading, taking long walks, castor oil, and so many other old wives tails to try to start my labor.  Nothing worked.  The day had finally arrived when the doctor had agreed to induce the labor with medication.  I spent that next night in the hospital while the medication was trying to take effect.  Even though I was given oxytocin, I was still not progressing on my own.
I was scheduled for more labor-inducing drugs at 7:30am then admitted to a labor and delivery room and hooked up to fetal monitors that produced a reading of my contractions and the baby’s heart rate.
In between what were finally becoming more steady contractions, I let my mind wander and recalled a less stressful moment in time, just a few weeks prior, We still hadn’t settled on a name and he was due to be born within weeks.  I remember exactly where we were.   We were in the car and I was driving with my husband in the passenger’s seat.  We had a bible in the car with us.  We had originally chosen so many different names that we couldn’t decide on one that we liked the best.  I thought it would be fun to open the bible and point to a name and try it on for size.  Mike happened to open to the story of the Prophet, Daniel in the Lion’s Den.  Daniel was not a name we had considered in the past but I loved it. The next name he landed on was Jacob.  Daniel Jacob.  We immediately fell in love with how it sounded with our last name.  “This trumps all the other names we had come up with,” we thought.  It had such a nice ring to it.  We agreed that would be the name of our son.
Baby Daniel must have been comfortable where he was because he hung on, seeming to not want to brave the world just yet. We expected him to have been in our arms two weeks ago.  We were more than ready to welcome him into our home that was well prepared for him.
His birth was rough on the three of us.  It wasn’t just tough for his father and I, but for him as well.  My mother had lost a child moments after he was born two years before me so when we lost Daniel’s heartbeat during labor, I couldn’t keep calm, which is what he needed me to do.  He had gone into distress and I was right there with him.  As I was screaming and crying, not knowing a thing that was going on because no one was talking to me, I longed to see my mother’s face.  Unfortunately, she was 2,000 miles away sitting by the phone waiting to hear the news of his birth.  I pictured having to tell her this birth was a repeat of her own tragedy.  I couldn’t face losing him.
I remember that our friends had been there visiting when this happened and they never left the room.  I was so conscious of this fact and was very uncomfortable.  I felt like this was such a private moment and I just wanted it to be the three of us.  My husband was there as well but he was pushed to the side by the swarm of medical professionals that were working on both of us and trying to discern their next move.  He was too big to travel through the birth canal and became stuck.  Panic set in even further of course when I was quickly forced to the edge of the bed so they could break my water to evaluate him.  They took a sample of blood from his head and read the heart rate again.  HIs heart was beating again but it was very weak.  I remember that they rushed me over to surgery and everything was such a whirlwind.  I don’t remember much after that until I awoke in a panic and realized there was no baby crying next to me and I couldn’t remember having held him.
A nurse was right by my side, thankfully.  She eased my fears.  Daniel Jacob was fine.  He was just in the nursery being monitored and waiting for me to recover.  He had a few issues after the C-section.  Due to his length of stay at the Inn, he had matured too much and swallowed meconium, making it hard for him to catch his first breath. After 30 hours of labor and delivery, he was born at 10 pounds, 4 ounces and was 23 1/4 inches long.  He was the biggest baby in that New Mexico hospital, where the average birth weight was under 6 pounds.  They had to have someone go out and buy a larger size package of diapers just for him.  It is the truth when I say that he was holding his head up in the nursery before we left.  The nurses in the maternity ward had a running joke that, “This one is ready for college!”
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It seems like a lifetime has passed and that’s exactly where he is now, in college.  We are so very grateful for the nurses, midwives and surgical team that ensured his safe delivery.  Life would not be the same without him in it.  His love binds us all together and mends all things.  He believes he has found the love of his life and is studying to be a mechanic.
Thank you to the staff of the University of New Mexico Hospital Maternity Ward for bringing this man to us safely, so many years ago.
The Sunday Whirl is a Facebook site that inspires you to write something that includes 12 words that they assign for the given week. This week’s are edge, trumps, drunkard, world, mends, binds, prophet, born, expected, circles, sleepy and thunder.  I am pleased to not only bring you this story but to share it with Daniel himself as well as the hospital who made it possible to do so.
Thank you for reading this.  I hope you will check out more stories from The Peace And Happiness Project for inspirations. tips and tools to reduce your stress and ways to increase your peace and happiness.  (See the side bar to the right for more articles.)  Feel free to share anything on this site as well as my other blog, Where the Ghosts Live ~ Missy Bell.

A Vision of Peace and Wonder

As we were driving to our destination today I witnessed an unexpected flock of birds take flight.  As I anticipated their next move I was fascinated by the fluidity with which they moved together as a group, changing direction together, They seemed indecisive as to where their destination was and I was curious if they were deciding in mid flight or if they had somehow communicated this decision prior to take off and this was just an attempt to get everyone headed in the right direction.  Did only one of them know which direction they needed to fly to get where they were going?  Did they get started and one of them decided to be the leader, head to the front and command to be followed?  Perhaps they are exercising or just spreading their wings. Maybe this is how they play.

I could most likely find answers to their aviary patterns, and why they do what they do, but I don’t have the desire to know.  I would rather be in awe, let it remain a mystery to me so that when I see them again, I can be free to ask these questions in my head, create my own scenarios.  It makes it more of a wonder, a gift.  If I knew, it may take away it’s splendor, my amazement of it all, the glory, the beauty.

Watching birds in flight is one of the many things that brings me peace.  The view may not last long but it is simple, free and amazing.

What is something that you enjoy that would be better left unexplained in order for you to continue enjoying it?

Increase Happiness and Have More Peace in Your Life

1384302_10151680609588456_86415627_nI wanted to do a brief recap of what I have been up to with this blog site.  I reached 50 posts yesterday and I wanted to run down a brief description of my top 10 favorites, (including a few that have two parts.)  I hope you’ll take a moment and find one that will resonate with you and spend a few minutes reading it.  I promise, it could make a big difference in your life by bringing a smile to your face, reducing your stress, making you feel inspired, giving you new strategies or provide you with a new perspective that could make all the difference in your life or in many others ways.  My goal with this site is to do a little bit of all of that for as many people as possible.  Please feel free to share this as often as you’d like so I can serve my purpose of helping many.

I’ve been told that I have it easy in life.  I’ve been told I have it all and I’m lucky to be so happy.  Luck.  That’s not the word I would use.  I am happy because I choose to be and I put a great deal of effort behind it. I have not been immune to tragedies, disappointments and negative circumstances, tt’s all a matter of what I have chosen to do with my life; how I choose to see it and what I choose to feel and think about it.  That is how I guess I make it look easy.  It’s because it can be.  All of it.  Nothing needs to be so difficult.  It takes work, all of it.  So, as I learn by living my life the best way I know how, including falling and getting up and dusting myself off, I discover new ways of how to help myself and in turn, I share them with you here.  After all, I feel we are on this earth to help each other get through it.  All that being said, take my hand.  I will lead you down a few of my paths of self discovery and what has come from them.  Hopefully, you will find my posts of help to you in your life.  If so, please “like” the ones you enjoyed and follow this page.

It was not easy to choose only 10 out of the 50 so please review the categories to see if there is something else that would be helpful to you.  Follow this blog for future inspirations, tips and hints on how to increase your peace and happiness.  (If you see a few that you are interested in reading, simply right click and open each one in a new tab so you can come back to the others.)

TOP 10 OF 50 – To Read, Click the Titles

  1. “The Affects of Stress and How to Begin Reducing It” and “Live By Your Own Rules – Stress Reduction Part 2,” is the first series I blogged about due to its importance to our health.  With some of the most major results of stress being deadly, I felt it was important to start with this subject by helping you to gain a better understanding of stress, what causes it and how to reduce it. With this information we can begin our journey to a happier life with greater peace. I hope you will read these, if nothing else.  It may honestly help you live longer.
  2. “United, Through the Sorrow, the Tears, the Humanity, the Trauma, the Healing – A September 11 Tribute,” takes you through a personal experience of September 11, 2001 and looks at how we, as a country are still dealing with our emotions from the tragedies of that day, more than 12 years ago.  I was actually awakened out of a dead sleep in tears, pulled to write this piece.  I am very proud of it.
  3. “22 Plus Years of Marriage – Our Secrets Revealed – Part 1,” and “22 Years of Marriage – Our Secrets Revealed – Part 2,” are actually in 2 parts due to the amount of important information.  I put a great deal of work into this.  I have been told that my husband and I are “lucky.”  The truth is, luck had nothing to do with us being together for this long.  It has taken a lot of work to make our relationship last and to get through the tough times.  These tips are part of what made it possible.  Every day we work at what we have so we can keep it.  Are you willing to do what it takes?  Read these two and find out.  Perhaps you will find a few tips that will help your relationship and some that I missed that you are willing to share.
  4. “How Well Do You Know Yourself,” is a very personal piece that takes a look inside who I am and how I was labeling myself inaccurately.  I let you in on the secrets of how I came to that realization.  It will make you think about yourself, where you are in your life and whether or not the labels you are placing on yourself are even true and how to move past them so you can improve your own life.
  5. Of all the poems I have written over my lifetime, “Heart Versus Mind,” is one of my many favorites.  It is the title of my poetry book that I have had published, “Heart Versus Mind: Words That Touch Your Heart by Missy Bell,” that is available at Amazon.com.  It is about a battle that ensues between our heart and our mind when we feel that we are in love and cannot be with that person.  If you love poetry, I highly recommend picking up a copy of my book.
  6. “Strategies to Stop Worrying.”  I love this piece.  If you find yourself consumed with worry, these strategies are amazing for helping you through it.  It talks about how worrying affects your body and mind and gives you practical solutions for situations within our control as well as how to reduce anxiety over the things you cannot control.  There are exercises included that help you evaluate what you are feeling and teach you how to change it.
  7. In, “A Simple Tip on How to Show Yourself Some Love,” I share with you a situation from my youth that helped change the way I look at things.  This was my first introduction to affirmations, although I didn’t know it then.  I composed a list of affirmations for you to print out to help you get started toward improving your self image.  This idea had a great response from readers through comments on the blog as well as on my Facebook.
  8. “Overcoming Fear – Tips and Strategies Part 1 – Heart Versus Mind” and Overcoming Fear – Part 2 – Tips and Strategies are a two part series that includes amazing ways to let go, overcome and conquer fear of just about any kind.  Fear can cripple us and stop us from doing things we would otherwise love.  I talk about the different types of fear, where they come from and how to move past them.  What is fear preventing you from accomplishing?
  9. “What Do You Mean, You Don’t Like Me.”  assures you that, not everyone will like us.  This post discusses why it is important to not let it bother you and gives you ways of looking at different situations so you are not as affected when you encounter a situation where you are butting heads with someone.  It also discusses the importance of responding (or not,) instead of just reacting.
  10. “20 Ideas That Give You More Time in Your Day,” gives you just what the title suggests.  Who couldn’t use more time in their day?  These tips are perfect for finding more time and getting more done or to have more time for relaxing or perusing your dreams.  What would you do with more time?

I am confident that you will find something in this lineup to help you increase your peace and happiness and reduce your stress.  With now more than 50 posts to choose from, there is sure to be many that you will resonate with.  I truly appreciate you stopping by, now, in the past and in the future.  I hope you will like and share this site as there will be a lot more to come.  You can also like me at my Facebook page, “Words That Touch Your Heart.”  My other blog is called, “Where the Ghosts Live.”  The Facebook for that site is “Where the Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States.”

Missy Bell

The Power to Change Your Future

Conceive Believe AchieveI have always believed in the power of affirmations to change ones life.  They can be that powerful.  I remember learning this several years ago at a seminar created by Bob Proctor.

We were told to state what we want in the positive as if we already own it or it is already part of who we are.  Do not see a negative, turn it into a positive and write it out.  Place it as a hard copy in the form of a sticky note or on a white board, wherever.  We were told to make sure to read it aloud, three times a day and state it like we mean it.  Have no doubts.  The power of the Law of Attraction will manifest it.  I’ve tried this many times and have been successful with it.

There are so many ways to use the Power of Attraction to get what you want from life but you can also use it to become who you want, to forgive yourself, to push yourself to work harder, think smarter, forgive yourself, etc.  The possibilities are endless with this technique.  If you haven’t tried it already, give it a shot.  You have nothing to lose.  Bookmark this page.  Come back in a week and let me know how you feel, what you used and how it has helped you.  Some things will take longer to manifest. Believing is a very powerful component.  If you do not believe, you will not achieve.  It takes several weeks to develop a habit.

Here is an affirmation I wrote last night in response to a blog I read, entitled, Take All the Chances You Get

“The control is mine to make new decisions to change my current situation. The past is the past. I cannot correct it but I can absolutely change the direction of my own future.”

Another example:

“I am healthy.  I make healthy choices for myself.  I nourish my body and take action daily to move more.  My body thanks me for the changes it is feeling.  I love who I am becoming.”

What affirmations have you used lately that you would like to share?

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope you will check out more posts by looking into the categories section to the right of this post for more inspirations and fear reducing tips.  Feel free to stop by my other blog, Where the Ghosts Live ~ Missy Bell.

The Power of Forgiveness

1385621_3516175440282_2062940749_nWho deserves your forgiveness?  Do you forgive people easily or hold onto whatever hurt they caused you?  How long do you hold onto it?  Why?

As you read this post, remember that you and I are not all that different.  I’m not sharing this story so you think I have huge self control or anything like that.  I have just come to realize a few things about life and myself that perhaps other people have just not come to realize yet.  Life is a learning process and is gradual.  We all learn things in our own way and in our own time.

The other day I was reading my Sister-In-Law’s blog post and it really resonated with me.  I wanted to share my response to her post with you (I have edited it so it becomes complete as a stand alone post however.)

If would encourage you to check out her blog as well.  Here is the link: Mastering Forgiveness | Peggy Bell Nolan.

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On the 5th of November, 2012, I noticed that it was getting late and my 17 year old son, Austin, was still out with friends.  I was getting concerned about the time since he had school and work the next day.  I tried his phone and it went to voice mail.  Perhaps he was ignoring me.  I left a message that it was late and I would like him to head home, a message he would not actually hear until more than a week later.

About :30 minutes after I left the voice mail there was a knock at the door.  I answered and it was a police officer.  “Ma’am, is your son Austin Bell?”  My heart sank.  I don’t remember answering him.  “He was in an accident and the charge nurse needs you to call the hospital so they can get permission to transport him.”  He couldn’t give me any other details except that I needed to call the hospital.  I shut the door on the policeman and yelled for my husband as I collapsed onto the stairs.  I remember my oldest son staying out with the cop, us quickly grabbing a few things and the three of us heading out the door as we called the hospital.

I was extremely grateful to learn that he would eventually be OK but he needed to be transported to a hospital in Boston where they specialize in youth medicine.  He had a compound fracture of both bones in his left leg, below the knee and it needed to be reset.  The hospital he was in didn’t specialize in that.  It took us more than an hour to get to the hospital, then another :15 to find him.  When we walked in, the first thing he said was, “Mom, please don’t cry.  That won’t be good for either of us.”  His face was twice it’s normal size, swollen from all the glass that was embedded in his face and all the open lacerations from it and he was wearing a neck collar,  I will probably never be able to lose that image in my head.

I stayed at the hospital until he was released many days later, except for a 3 hour break to drive home and vote before returning to be by his side.

I learned Austin had been a back seat passenger in a car driven by a junior operator who illegally had people in her vehicle, unbeknownst to the passengers that it was illegal for her to drive with them in the car, and she drove into a tree.  She could have killed all 4 of them,  He had his seat belt on but just before the accident the car hit a bump in the road and the driver was driving too fast.  When they hit the bump, Austin grabbed the back of the seat in front of him, preventing the seat belt from locking.  The car swerved into another lane and was headed toward an oncoming car.  She jerked the car back into her lane, causing Austin to move from the area of the back seat where he was toward the middle of the backseat.  As almost with the same motion, the car was stopped dead when it hit a tree head on and during the impact he smashed his leg into the metal bar of the drivers seat and caught all the glass from the windshield that was deflected from the two front airbags, directly into his face.

I had never met the driver before and when he told me about the accident, I didn’t even know who she was.  I knew most of Austin’s friends, at least by name.  The moment she called him on the hospital phone to see how his surgery went, (He had a rod inserted into his leg to stabilize the bones to help them grow back together,) I told her that I was not angry with her.  I knew I couldn’t be.  If I was, that anger would consume me and where I needed to be emotionally was there for my son.  It was the only way we could heal quickly through that.

Austin didn’t need me to be angry, neither did she.  She already blamed herself and we later found out that a lot of the students in her school turned against her because of the accident.  She didn’t need me to add to that.  There wasn’t alcohol or drugs involved, just poor judgement.

I remember the first time I met her.  She had come to our house after he was out of the hospital.  It was hard for me.  I realized the forgiveness had not been 100% but I didn’t let on.  I reminded myself that it would not be good for any of us.  She was still healing too.  She shattered every bone in her face and had to have reconstructive surgery.  She hugged me and cried when she left.  I later received an incredible text from her thanking me for letting her into my home and welcoming her and she stressed how healing it had been for her.

Why do I share such a graphic story?  I’m hoping this may help you in some way.  I feel it is very important to forgive.  It’s not about the other person, it’s not about payback for something they did.  YOU don’t need to hold a grudge.  It is truly damaging to your own health much more than theirs.  The reason?  YOU need to live with these feelings of hatred or the feeling you need to get them back for whatever they did, a need for revenge.

It was easier to forgive this when it was done immediately. I didn’t let the negativity consume me before hand.  It was easier to move past this.  Austin is healed now and can actually run again. Tonight is his first night trying MMA and Kickboxing, 11 months after the accident/surgery.  Time healed the bones in his leg, the glass is gone, leaving him with only a few scars on his face and leg.  There are a few things he can’t do, but not many.  His recovery took about 8 months and he missed a great deal of his senior year.  He too, forgave, or perhaps, he never even blamed in the first place.  He was an inspiration through this.  This accident made him a stronger person and gave him the chance to prove who he was and just how strong his character is.  We would never want to repeat it but are grateful for what came out of it.  His recovery would not have been as quick and the emotional healing would have taken much longer if he had chosen not to forgive.  He could have chosen a “pity me” attitude but he didn’t.  He looked at this as what it was “an accident,” something he had no control over and could not change once it had happened.

I remember him saying, “there’s nothing I can do about it, might as well make the best of it.”

Forgiveness is for you.  It helps you heal and move on to a happier, healthier life.  You deserve that.  Holding on to the negativity can send you into depression and make you hold onto the initial feelings of emotional hurt and pain you felt from the situation.  You will re-live it over and over again.  Your ultimate goal should be to move on from whatever it is.

Are you ready to heal?  Are you ready to forgive?  If you don’t know where to start and talking to the person is not an option, write them a letter, releasing them from what happened, releasing your feelings of it and letting them know that you will be moving on, no longer carrying the pain of the situation with you.  Whether you send it or not is up to you.

Thanks for your thought provoking post that inspired this one Peggy!

If you are interested in reading more that will help you reduce stress and increase happiness, see the sidebar for more titles and categories.  Feel free to visit my other blog,Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States.

Missy Bell

Photos of the Fall Foliage in Vermont and the Killington Ski Resort

My family and I live in Massachusetts.  This weekend we got to travel and spend the weekend in Vermont.  Since many of my readers are from around the world, I wanted to share some photos with you of the beauty of New England in the fall.  This week is the perfect week for trees to be at the height of their beauty.

The reason the leaves change to such beautiful colors is sadly, because they are dying.  The cold nights mixed with the warmer days contributes to the acceleration of the process of the photosynthesis.  As the leaves start to fall, our back roads will be as slippery as they are with the winter snow if these leaves get wet.

Here’s some of the beauty we captured on the way to Vermont’s Killington Mountain Ski Resort from where we were staying in the town of Quechee.

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My absolute favorite picture is of a random driveway on the way.  I think I may have this one framed with one of my original quotes written below it.

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This next one is of a plant that decorated a street light on the main street in the cutest little town of Woodstock.  Every light post in the town had one just like it.  The streets were lined with unique shops and eateries and filled with tourists both times we passed through.

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Here are the shots we took when we arrived.  And to think, none of these compared to the black diamond we had to climb two weekends before.  These looked like bunny hills in comparison.   That trail was not visible from where we were is was to the left of these:

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I had sprained my knee a week before the trip so, we went with the intention of riding the gondola round trip to the top of the mountain and back.  As we ascended the mountain, high above the ground, we could see the gravel trail in the distance that we originally intended to take.  We had been to Killington Mountain two weeks prior and participated in the Spartan Race.

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Since we were unable to take our phones with us (there are obstacles where you are submerged in mud,) we were unable to get pictures of the incredible view the mountain supplied so we vowed to come back and take pictures.  The crest was foggy and misty as you will see and it was difficult to get pictures so I decided I would brave the climb down, injury and all.

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I was so grateful I made that decision (as well as my husband’s assistance in areas where I really needed to watch my footing.)  Are you ready to see why? Look at the beauty we got to witness on our hike back down the mountain:

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As we returned after the long day, my husband pointed out a hot air balloon in the distance.  I have had a special place in my heart for them since we lived in Albuquerque, NM, home of the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta.  I worked the event when we were first married and fell in love with their beauty and unique designs.  As we drove toward the one he could see in the distance, he spotted this one hanging not far above us.  We turned around and found a few perfect spots to take some really great pictures.  It was a perfect way to end a perfect day.  We never were able to catch a shot of the other one but we believe it passed right over the house we were staying in.

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I hope you have enjoyed the beauty and the pictures brought you a bit of peace to your day.  The view and hike certainly did for me.

I hope you will visit other posts on this site.  I focus on tips, motivations, and inspirations that will decrease your stress and increase your peace and happiness.  I hope you will stay a while.  I also have another site.  If you are interested in the paranormal, you should really check it out.  You can find it at Where The Ghosts Live ~ The Haunted United States by Missy Bell.

Thank you for stopping by today!

Missy Bell

That’s Your Opinion

OpinionHave you ever noticed that everyone has their own opinion?  When it differs from your own, do you tend to get offended by that?  Do you respond or let it go?  Have you ever told someone their opinion was wrong?  Why?

I received a comment on my other blog, Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States, that made me feel like my beliefs were being attacked.  I felt the need to defend myself and I think the way I did so was very non-offensive but I still felt the need.  Several people pointed out that this was not necessary; I wrote about my beliefs and should not need to defend them.  None the less, I defended my position.  It also happened earlier in the week in another situation where I made a judgement call and someone disapproved and voiced it in a rude and condescending manner.

When I encounter this type of behavior from others I’m not sure what to do with it.  I don’t treat people in this fashion or act this way so it really throws me for a loop.  I actually get stuck.  I go into a phase for 10 minutes, or even a few hours where I dwell on it, trying to understand and I get stuck.  Then I either respond or dismiss it but it seems during that in between time, I’m not able to produce meaningful content and on occasion don’t even want to be around others.  I know I need to grow a thicker skin.  This is going to happen often in life, I am just not used to it in my life nor do I feel like I should need to be.

As I was responding to one of these several comments about not needing to defend myself, I came to the easy realization that I should be grateful for differences of opinions.  One person could never experience everything there is to experience during our short lifetime.  That is why I am grateful that we all have so many different experiences and take away from them so many different truths and opinions.

We live in a world that is so much different in this day and age then when our grandparents and great grandparents lived it.  They relied on the stories of others by word of mouth or by personal written mail in order to visit another country or location in their mind’s eye.  Even then, they only got to hear one or two stories of the area the people they communicated with got to see.  In today’s world, there are limitless possibilities of what we can experience, learn about and believe simply by reading a page or two on the internet about what someone else wrote or pictures they took.  The world is ours to live and experience from exactly where we are in any given moment.  Due to the amount of information out there, this leaves us with the ability to form opinions about almost anything.  We all seem to know a little about a lot and a lot about a little but all in different areas.

This brings me to the appreciation of the opinions of others.  I think what I think because of the experiences I’ve been through in my life.  It is the same for every person.  We all have been raised differently and have seen different things in our lives.  Of course our opinions will be different.  It is important to not force yours on anyone else but at the same time to recognize that every person has the right to think what they think.  They have the right to walk away or leave a page or disagree.

When you feel attacked, or called out for what you believe because someone sees things differently, how do you respond?  What are some ways you have been attacked and what for?  Do you wish you would have responded differently?  Have you ever had someone come back at you for being too judgmental of their opinion?  Feel free to open up here.  As you can see from my posts, I’m an open book.

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope you will stay a while a view another piece or two.

Missy Bell

How Well Do You Know Yourself

Have you ever caught yourself labeling yourself in a negative way?  I did that this weekend.  It has been a struggle for me, even after all these years.  I had gastric bypass almost 6 years ago.  It seems like yesterday and yet, other times it feels like it’s been a lifetime.

I used to be about 160 pounds heavier than I am now and very inactive.  I was one who would drive around the parking lot and wait for someone to leave so I could park closer.  It was more than that though.  I would actually think about every step I had to take.  It consumed me.  I remember Christmas shopping being a nightmare.  I could never find a spot close enough and then, I knew if there was more than one store I had to go to, I would have to walk too far.  I hated walking, let alone exercising.  That was completely out of the question.

Even after the bypass I wasn’t very good with activity.  It became a lot easier and I did it but I didn’t like it.  I used to roller skate when I was young, EVERY DAY, sometimes for 8 hours total.  It wasn’t as if I always hated exercise.

I seem to fall back into the same patterns as before the bypass at times.  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t eat like I used to, but I find myself eating too much for my body to handle at times.  I know better.  I also find myself getting complacent, lazy.  This is where it gets bad.  I am very big into teaching others the benefit of watching their self-talk and staying positive and being good to themselves but I seem to forget to take my own advice sometimes.

This weekend my husband and I went to Killington Mountain.  I’ve been upset all week about it.  Allow me to explain; two weeks ago, he and I participated in the Spartan Sprint at the mountain.  This was our second Spartan this year, having finished the one in Amesbury just a month prior.  The Killington one took us twice as long, as we climbed the black diamond to the crest and watched every step back down.  Somewhere just after the 3 mile mark, in the woods, my left foot slid in deep mud and I landed on my left knee and it bent the wrong way.  I made it out of the woods and through another section, determined to finish.  We got as far the last water station before I was transported back to the medical tent.  So close.  “NEVER AGAIN,” I said, “NEVER!” (I said this about the previous Spartan Sprint 6 weeks prior but, there I was.)

Diagnosis: sprained knee.  But what did I want to do for my birthday?  Go back and hike an easier trail at Killington.  For my birthday!!  Who am I?  I had to laugh.  I am the one who calls myself lazy, still, out of habit, after all these years.  I am the purple belt kick boxer who has been having withdrawls from not being able to go because of my sprained knee.  I am the one who went to the gym Friday to use the elliptical to try to loosen up my knee to see if there was any way I could still hike on Saturday.

We arrived at the base of the mountain on Saturday and I limped up to the counter and, being mad at myself, ordered 2 round trip tickets for the gondola ride so we could at least enjoy the colors of the leaves and the scenery from the crest that we saw during the race that we were unable to take pictures of.  I could see the trail to the right of us that we had planned to take as we took the 10 minute ride to the top.  The view was breathtaking.  As we neared the top, the mist settled over the mountain and the view was no longer clear.  By the time we got off the gondola my stubbornness had kicked in and that was it.  We were hiking back down the mountain.

It wasn’t as easy as I envisioned in my head and I was grateful for that.  There were a great number of times I looked at the steps I needed to take in front of me and wondered how I would get to where I needed to be without falling or slipping again.  My fear of falling was intense at times, as was the pain in my knee in the beginning.  But I took baby steps where I need to and we made it to the bottom.  My knee popped several times and I’m not sure why but by the end, it no longer hurt.

My calves and thighs were stiff this morning but I don’t have any regrets.  I’m glad I did it.  It was my birthday present to myself.  So, what is my point with this story?  Why did I just bare my soul for all to read? Because I came to the realization that we tell ourselves things all the time that are not true about ourselves.  I’m not a lazy person anymore.  Sure, I have my moments and I make excuses at times when I shouldn’t; that doesn’t make me lazy, especially on the scale of where I used to be.  So why am I so hard on myself?  Why do I choose to see myself that way?  Perhaps it’s habitual.  I told myself that for so many years that it just carried over.  So, now that I’ve realized that I do it, imagine what I could do now that I no longer believe it?  If I have come this far, I could definitely go further, and I intend to.

How well do you know yourself?  What things are you telling yourself that need to be reevaluated?  What do you believe about yourself that could use a mental makeover?  Consider what you say to yourself.  Listen.  You could be completely wrong.  What you believe about yourself is up to you.  The choice is yours.  Stay the same or change it?  It’s up to you.  Be kind.

You can check out other inspiring posts here that will cause you to think, decrease your stress and increase happiness.  You can also check out my other blog site, Where The Ghosts Live – by Missy Bell.

Thank you for stopping by!!

Missy Bell

Heart Versus Mind

Here is a poem that I wrote when I was much younger.  It is one of my favorites, so much so, that I named my poetry book after it.  I published my first book about 2 years ago.  It is filled with all the poetry I’ve written throughout my life.  If you love this poem, as some of the other poetry I’ve posted on this site, you can purchase my book through Amazon.com.  I will post the link at the bottom.

HEART VERSUS MIND

My mind can’t understand why

My heart just can’t let go

Of a love that it once felt

So very long ago

Your name is etched within my heart

All it sees is you

All it can remember

Is that our love was once so true

In the middle of the night

My heart doesn’t sleep it seems

It’s the one who calls your name

In the midst of all my dreams

If only I could make it realize

That you don’t really care

But it seems my heart is too afraid

To take that crazy dare

On the other hand my mind is smart

It knows just what to do

It realizes that after all this time

I don’t stand a chance with you

I’ve cried myself to sleep t night

Confused as I could be

Longing to know the answer to

“Do you think he’ll ever love me?”

My heart and mind battle it out

To see which one is right

But somehow it always seems to be

It’s my heart that wins the fight

It keeps saying that I’ll win you back

Only time can reveal

The future that lies ahead of us

And what you truly feel

If the battle does continue

And my mind should come to win

It would surely tell my heart

How foolish it has been

The heart still believes in you and me

The mind just can’t grasp why

I guess the heart will always feel

Our love’s worth one more try

Overcoming Fear Part 1 - Heart Versus Mind

I hope you like this one.  You can purchase my book of approximately 90 poems, “Heart Versus Mind : Words That Touch Your Heart” by Missy Bell at Heart Versus Mind : Words That Touch Your Heart ~by Missy Bell.  Thank you as always for stopping by.  I hope you will take some time to view some of my other writings by visiting the side bar to the right.  My main focus on this page is giving tips, hints and strategies of how to decrease stress and increase happiness.

Missy Bell

Looking for Mr. or Ms. Right or Relationship Bliss?

1383432_10151672958593456_1892639946_nAre you out there looking for Mr. or Ms. Right?  Have you ever thought about what’s working and what’s not if you are in a current relationship?  Have you ever thought about the future of your relationship?  When I read this piece I fell in love with it.  I wanted to share it with you.  The author is my Sister-In-Law, yes, but this is not being done as a favor.  I want to share this with you because I think it’s so brilliant, as she is of course, and I think everyone, men and women alike could benefit from it.

I admire my Sister-In-Law.  She is my mentor, my friend, my guide and I enjoy being with her.  I was fortunate.  I won the “In-Law Lottery!”

Peggy has been through a great deal in her life and instead of spending time wallowing in the negative, she takes what she has been through and uses it to be a strength to others.  She is empowering, positive and insightful.  She is always learning, always creating and always giving back.  She takes care of herself first so she can care for others.

This brings me to her latest piece that was published with the Huffington Post.  She takes a well-known couple from movie history and takes a look into the future of what that couple might be like in the future using philosophy that many are not aware of.  It’s absolutely brilliant.  It causes you to really think about what you expect from a relationship, whether you are looking for a new one or are in a relationship.  It made me really ponder fairy tales.  As little girls we grow up idealizing fairy tales, thinking that’s what a relationship should look like, Prince Charming.  Guess what ladies?  He doesn’t exist.  And if it seems like he does, it’s a front and wears off.  Reality sets in, then what?  I could go on and on about my interpretation of her piece but that’s not why I’m here.  I hope you will take the time to read it and I hope you love it as much as I did! (And please remember, this is not just about after divorce, it is a MUST READ even if you are happily married!!

The Secret to Finding Love After Divorce | Peggy Nolan

Thank you for being you Peggy!  Lots of love!

For other inspiring posts that focus on bringing more happiness to your life, please view the right hand side bar.  Feel free to also check out my other post relating to all things paranormal, http://www.WhereTheGhostsLive.WordPress.Com.

Thank you for stopping by,

Missy Bell