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Relay For Life – The Silent Lap

Relay For Life

I have been asked to read the following poem that I wrote at the Gardner, MA Relay For Life 2014.  I am extremely honored and excited.  Cancer has taken the lives of several relatives and friends and I have several relatives and friends who are also amazing survivors.  Hope, Pray, Fight for a cure!!

 

Relay For Life – The Silent Lap

More than a thousand people
On a quarter-mile track.
Gardner, MA
One of the largest Relay’s in North America.
So many people
Focusing on how cancer has touched their lives.
The silent lap begins.

Thoughts turn
To celebrating the Survivors;
Our loved ones,
Other people who have shared their stories,
The differences they have made
In other people’s lives
Through their journey,
All they’ve done since their diagnosis.
We are filled with gratitude
That they are still with us.
Silence.

The walk
Turns to a shuffle
As the track is filled,
One by one by people
Who are filled with sorrow and hope.

Silence falls over the large crowd
Except for a few teenagers
Playing basketball away from the track,
Unaware of the depths of what they miss.
Even the children are silent.
The tiniest of babies, are silent.
Memories,
Gratitude.
Hope.
Tears fall.
Silence.

We remember those
Who have lost their battle with cancer.
Luminaries line the track…
There are far too many and we wish there were none.
There are decorated in honor of…
Relatives,
Sisters, brothers, parents;
Grandparents;
Aunts, Uncles, Cousins.
We look for ones we recognize.
Friends
Coworkers,
Acquaintances,
Those who have touched our lives,
Loved and cared for us,
Made us laugh,
Made our lives better because they were here.
Memories.
Silence.

People standing
On the side of the track,
Missing their loved ones,
Praying for the survivors,
Hoping for a cure.
We are all united as one.
Thousands within a half mile radius
Contributing to the search for a cure.
Hopes and prayers
That no one else they know
Is added to the list they honor
At a fundraiser.
Silence.

In honor,
In memory,
In celebration of life,
With hopes for a cure.
Silence.

 

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Does Procrastination Get The Best Of You?

We often go through our day-by-day routines and get so caught up in our daily lives and the distractions that surround us, that when we look back, we realize we’ve missed something.  When we procrastinate on what needs to be done for things less important, we find that we miss out on opportunities because we are just too busy.

1378095_10151712087208456_1825873859_nAs time progresses we realize that, even with good intentions, we may not be where we want to be.  We find that regret sets in and we start beating ourselves up for things we have not accomplished.  In reality, when we were in those moments of our daily lives we were doing the best with what we had and what we were able to do with the time allotted.

It’s often that time becomes the enemy.  We never seem to have enough of it.  I know the older I get, the less hours I feel I have in a day.  It seems that if there was a way to stop it, for whatever we needed it for; if there was a way, we would have already found it.  All it seems we can do is recognize what it is we feel we are missing or need to accomplish, manage time better and find a way to fit it in.

Recognizing it before we fall too far behind is very essential. The best way to do that is to evaluate more instead of just going through the day-to-day motions.  I know, it sounds so much easier than it actually is.  It’s important to slow down daily and make it a routine to check in with yourself.  Scan your day and acknowledge what went well, what didn’t and what you missed that could be scheduled the next day.  Write it down then give yourself a time frame, maybe even set an alarm. Then take solid action.

Some days will seem so out of control with everything that is expected of us.  It’s important to not be too hard on yourself.  Make every effort to do your best in every moment.  When you do your best, there should be no regrets.

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That’s Inspiring

I have asked this question before through Facebook and seem to get the same answers from a high number of people. They say that their children inspire them.  A friend of mine posed the same question to her friends and received a slightly different set of comments but it brought me back to the answer I received on mine.

I think it’s fantastic that your children inspire you.  Our children keep us young at heart and motivated to stay good people, amongst other things.  But it is important to think about what else inspires you.  What happens when your children are grown and have lives of their own?  You will need to be sure that you have many sources of inspiration to keep you going.  You should be sure that you are close to the top of that list.

When you draw from several sources, your options are wide open.  After giving it thought I came up with my own short list.  It is incomplete at the moment because I know I need to give it further thought.

InspirationI am inspired by challenges in my life that force me to look inside for strength.  I seem to thrive on the personal challenges that I take on, the challenges where I force myself to step outside the box and say, “I’m not really sure that I can do this,” then I do it. I’ve learned to stop looking for outside motivation as often, I turn within.  I find ways to pull my own energy into higher thought and search my spirituality for inspiration and encouragement.  When I need it externally, I read different authors such as, Napoleon Hill, Bob Proctor, Don Miguel Ruiz, Anthony, etc.  I talk with my family, they know me well enough to give me strength in just the right areas when I need it.  I am inspired by dreams of my future, friends, reminding myself of what I’m grateful for, other people’s accomplishments, music, love, hope and happiness. 

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have more than one source of inspiration and to know what know what they are.  It will help you get out of situations when you find you’re having a bad day.  Make your list, include as much as possible.  You can write it or create a collage.  Keep your list with you.  Draw from it on your down days or when you need a pick-me up.  Reading or looking at it will trigger happier thoughts to help you move forward.

If you can create your own inspiration, you have truly won.  Be sure to find ways to be your own hero and inspiration.  There is nothing truly like it.

Thank you for stopping by.  Please check out the list of other inspirational posts in the side bar.

Missy Bell

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My Unborn Child – Fascinating Results From My Tarot Reading

In the spring of ‘95

You were due to be born

I find after all this time

I still do mourn

I wonder if there was anything

That I could have done

But then I think

Of our second son

I shouldn’t be sad

But after 18 years

I still find that

My eyes fill with tears

It’s human nature

To play that “What if” game

In my heart I know

Our lives wouldn’t be the same

I can’t help but wonder

After all was said and done

If he is your spirit

The two of you are one

Maybe you just weren’t ready

To be born in May

Perhaps July 28th

Was your special day

I still mourn you

Because I guess I’ll never know

So my love and appreciation

For him does grown

I’ll think of you often

And blow kisses to the sky

To my long lost child

My girl, or my guy

I’ll think of you still

And hope that one day

We will meet in Heaven

This is what I pray

I wrote this poem a long time ago.  Please don’t be sad.  I dug this up because I had a tarot card reading the other day and the woman explained to me that my daughter, whom she did not know about, is the one who is causing doors to slam, footsteps in the hall, cold spots in the house, door handles jiggling, voices that more than one of us hear at the same time, what felt like knees in my back from the backseat of the car, seeing “shadow children,” and the TV turning off and on.  I was told she is a prankster and likes to hide things on my son’s girlfriend just to mess with her.  I asked Nic if her things go missing when she is here, without explaining what I knew.  She said yes.  She puts things in places and later they are moved.

I am fascinated by all of this.  It brings me peace and comfort to think that she has been with us off and on.  I will forever cherish that information.  It makes me feel that after all this time, I never really lost her.

Unborn Child Tarot ReadingThis was my first ever tarot reading and I almost didn’t do it.  I had wanted a palm reading instead but they were too busy.  I guess it was meant to be.

For further information about my tarot reading, keep an eye on my other blog site, Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States ~ Missy Bell.

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Destined For Greatness – A Poem for the Special Ed Teacher

DESTINED FOR GREATNESSDestined for Greatness

 

 

I am destined for greatness

This much I know

Exactly how I’ll get there

Only time will show

 

I believe I owe you thanks

For whom I will one day be

Because you have shown

So much faith in me

 

You have taught me lessons

Both big and small

I will do my best

To remember them all

 

So many days I struggled

To pay attention to what you say

You showed me patience and love

And forgave me those days

 

You have stood by me

Trying to find what works best

I’m sure all that you’ve learned

Has been put to the test

 

I truly feel

That you believe in me

That’s why am destined for greatness

You will someday see

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Our First Miracle Child – Daniel Jacob

I remember laying wide awake with dark circles under my eyes, in deep silence, listening to the thunder crashing in the distance.  I was extremely sleepy but I rolled out of bed anyway, feeling like a drunkard.  It had been weeks since I slept well.  It was the last week in a very hot July and I was 42 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my anxiety was through the roof.  I had tried everything from going off-roading, taking long walks, castor oil, and so many other old wives tails to try to start my labor.  Nothing worked.  The day had finally arrived when the doctor had agreed to induce the labor with medication.  I spent that next night in the hospital while the medication was trying to take effect.  Even though I was given oxytocin, I was still not progressing on my own.
I was scheduled for more labor-inducing drugs at 7:30am then admitted to a labor and delivery room and hooked up to fetal monitors that produced a reading of my contractions and the baby’s heart rate.
In between what were finally becoming more steady contractions, I let my mind wander and recalled a less stressful moment in time, just a few weeks prior, We still hadn’t settled on a name and he was due to be born within weeks.  I remember exactly where we were.   We were in the car and I was driving with my husband in the passenger’s seat.  We had a bible in the car with us.  We had originally chosen so many different names that we couldn’t decide on one that we liked the best.  I thought it would be fun to open the bible and point to a name and try it on for size.  Mike happened to open to the story of the Prophet, Daniel in the Lion’s Den.  Daniel was not a name we had considered in the past but I loved it. The next name he landed on was Jacob.  Daniel Jacob.  We immediately fell in love with how it sounded with our last name.  “This trumps all the other names we had come up with,” we thought.  It had such a nice ring to it.  We agreed that would be the name of our son.
Baby Daniel must have been comfortable where he was because he hung on, seeming to not want to brave the world just yet. We expected him to have been in our arms two weeks ago.  We were more than ready to welcome him into our home that was well prepared for him.
His birth was rough on the three of us.  It wasn’t just tough for his father and I, but for him as well.  My mother had lost a child moments after he was born two years before me so when we lost Daniel’s heartbeat during labor, I couldn’t keep calm, which is what he needed me to do.  He had gone into distress and I was right there with him.  As I was screaming and crying, not knowing a thing that was going on because no one was talking to me, I longed to see my mother’s face.  Unfortunately, she was 2,000 miles away sitting by the phone waiting to hear the news of his birth.  I pictured having to tell her this birth was a repeat of her own tragedy.  I couldn’t face losing him.
I remember that our friends had been there visiting when this happened and they never left the room.  I was so conscious of this fact and was very uncomfortable.  I felt like this was such a private moment and I just wanted it to be the three of us.  My husband was there as well but he was pushed to the side by the swarm of medical professionals that were working on both of us and trying to discern their next move.  He was too big to travel through the birth canal and became stuck.  Panic set in even further of course when I was quickly forced to the edge of the bed so they could break my water to evaluate him.  They took a sample of blood from his head and read the heart rate again.  HIs heart was beating again but it was very weak.  I remember that they rushed me over to surgery and everything was such a whirlwind.  I don’t remember much after that until I awoke in a panic and realized there was no baby crying next to me and I couldn’t remember having held him.
A nurse was right by my side, thankfully.  She eased my fears.  Daniel Jacob was fine.  He was just in the nursery being monitored and waiting for me to recover.  He had a few issues after the C-section.  Due to his length of stay at the Inn, he had matured too much and swallowed meconium, making it hard for him to catch his first breath. After 30 hours of labor and delivery, he was born at 10 pounds, 4 ounces and was 23 1/4 inches long.  He was the biggest baby in that New Mexico hospital, where the average birth weight was under 6 pounds.  They had to have someone go out and buy a larger size package of diapers just for him.  It is the truth when I say that he was holding his head up in the nursery before we left.  The nurses in the maternity ward had a running joke that, “This one is ready for college!”
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It seems like a lifetime has passed and that’s exactly where he is now, in college.  We are so very grateful for the nurses, midwives and surgical team that ensured his safe delivery.  Life would not be the same without him in it.  His love binds us all together and mends all things.  He believes he has found the love of his life and is studying to be a mechanic.
Thank you to the staff of the University of New Mexico Hospital Maternity Ward for bringing this man to us safely, so many years ago.
The Sunday Whirl is a Facebook site that inspires you to write something that includes 12 words that they assign for the given week. This week’s are edge, trumps, drunkard, world, mends, binds, prophet, born, expected, circles, sleepy and thunder.  I am pleased to not only bring you this story but to share it with Daniel himself as well as the hospital who made it possible to do so.
Thank you for reading this.  I hope you will check out more stories from The Peace And Happiness Project for inspirations. tips and tools to reduce your stress and ways to increase your peace and happiness.  (See the side bar to the right for more articles.)  Feel free to share anything on this site as well as my other blog, Where the Ghosts Live ~ Missy Bell.