Have you ever noticed that everyone has their own opinion? When it differs from your own, do you tend to get offended by that? Do you respond or let it go? Have you ever told someone their opinion was wrong? Why?
I received a comment on my other blog, Where The Ghosts Live – The Haunted United States, that made me feel like my beliefs were being attacked. I felt the need to defend myself and I think the way I did so was very non-offensive but I still felt the need. Several people pointed out that this was not necessary; I wrote about my beliefs and should not need to defend them. None the less, I defended my position. It also happened earlier in the week in another situation where I made a judgement call and someone disapproved and voiced it in a rude and condescending manner.
When I encounter this type of behavior from others I’m not sure what to do with it. I don’t treat people in this fashion or act this way so it really throws me for a loop. I actually get stuck. I go into a phase for 10 minutes, or even a few hours where I dwell on it, trying to understand and I get stuck. Then I either respond or dismiss it but it seems during that in between time, I’m not able to produce meaningful content and on occasion don’t even want to be around others. I know I need to grow a thicker skin. This is going to happen often in life, I am just not used to it in my life nor do I feel like I should need to be.
As I was responding to one of these several comments about not needing to defend myself, I came to the easy realization that I should be grateful for differences of opinions. One person could never experience everything there is to experience during our short lifetime. That is why I am grateful that we all have so many different experiences and take away from them so many different truths and opinions.
We live in a world that is so much different in this day and age then when our grandparents and great grandparents lived it. They relied on the stories of others by word of mouth or by personal written mail in order to visit another country or location in their mind’s eye. Even then, they only got to hear one or two stories of the area the people they communicated with got to see. In today’s world, there are limitless possibilities of what we can experience, learn about and believe simply by reading a page or two on the internet about what someone else wrote or pictures they took. The world is ours to live and experience from exactly where we are in any given moment. Due to the amount of information out there, this leaves us with the ability to form opinions about almost anything. We all seem to know a little about a lot and a lot about a little but all in different areas.
This brings me to the appreciation of the opinions of others. I think what I think because of the experiences I’ve been through in my life. It is the same for every person. We all have been raised differently and have seen different things in our lives. Of course our opinions will be different. It is important to not force yours on anyone else but at the same time to recognize that every person has the right to think what they think. They have the right to walk away or leave a page or disagree.
When you feel attacked, or called out for what you believe because someone sees things differently, how do you respond? What are some ways you have been attacked and what for? Do you wish you would have responded differently? Have you ever had someone come back at you for being too judgmental of their opinion? Feel free to open up here. As you can see from my posts, I’m an open book.
Thank you for stopping by. I hope you will stay a while a view another piece or two.
Missy Bell
The Peace and Happiness Project 
Thank you for this thought provoking post. I think it is difficult when we like our beliefs are being attacked. It feels very personal and it feels like our beliefs don’t matter. It always feels like a criticism. I, too, have to chew on things for a while and try very hard to realize the place the person is coming from and their intent. At first, though, my feathers get a bit ruffled! Thanks for your openness.
Peggy, Thank you for being open about this. I’m glad I’m not the only one who “gets stuck.” I know I should just let it go immediately, release it as the other person’s issue, not mine, but it’s not as easy when the words seem attacking. Thank you for your comment and for stopping by.
Missy your post strikes a chord on many different levels. What stood out the most for me was when you wrote, ” I go into a phase for 10 minutes, or even a few hours where I dwell on it, trying to understand and I get stuck.” I’ve learned through recent experiences not to try and understand everyone’s opinions because it can be a futile waste of time. What works for me is accepting that each person has his/her own point of view and when it differs from my own, I can respectfully agree to disagree.
Perfect Benita! Thank you. I have adopted that, “Agree to disagree” mantra recently and I’m still working on it. I think the biggest thing I have a hard time with is the fact that other people feel the need to belittle others because their opinion. I agree that engaging in an argument over it is pointless, absolutely. It’s just something I will have to get used to I guess and learn to let go of the moment I encounter it.
I wish I could grow a thicker skin as well. I find some things I can simply let them roll off but others I feel I must defend. Then some days I wish I’d said something different or I go back and reflect why someone felt the need to respond in such a manner. I too feel blessed about other’s opinions though because they do cause my eyes to be opened to other things I may not have seen or heard of otherwise. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for stopping by Kathie. I have never regretted how I responded. I have worked in customer service all my life so I know how to word things appropriately but I am led by my heart in most things so the emotions behind things affect me. I’m so glad you stopped by tonight and commented. Thank you!
IMO most arguments start because people don’t respect a person’s right to have a different opinion. I usually take the high road so as not to cause an argument, but sometimes the devil in me will argue back. I’ve been known to cuss once or twice too 🙂
Clara, Thank you for your honesty here. I appreciate that. You are not alone, having responded that way. Some people only know how to respond in that manner. I think others are provokers because they like the battle, which is harsh. Thank you for stopping by!
Hey sis,
Just remember that the opinion of someone else is a reflection of who they are, not who you are. You should see some of the comments I get on my Huffington Post articles. Some are truly weird. On my blog, though, I’ve learned to meet a differing view point with “thanks for stopping by and sharing today.” And when it comes to flame baiters, you have complete control over the comments you receive – the delete button works wonders!!
xxxoooo
Peggy
Very true. I thank you so much! I need to remind myself it’s not about me, that it’s about them. I will start using that delete button if necessary. Thank you for stopping by again. Love you lots!!!
I think it is natural to react on topics that are dear to our heart. I can be quite unfazed on topics that I am not passionate about, but it is quite different when I am! I do my best to respect their opinion, and I guess that it depends on how respectful they are in return as to how I react. For the most part I am happy to agree to disagree 😉
Thank you for that. I appreciate your candor. Thank you for stopping by today.