Every scar carries a fascinating story. We have to remember this when dealing with other people and respect their individuality, even when we do not know what they have been through or cannot see those scars.
Most scars are often thought of as being visible on the body but there are many internal scars that people carry that are invisible. Everyone carries some sort of internal scar on their heart or soul; each one is different and as unique as the person themselves. You will not see these types of scars and have to remind yourself on occasion that they exist. Most people don’t care to discuss them because they obviously bring up bad memories. Discussing the reason for the scars causes them to recall that pain all over again.
These scars are a part of that person. They will often act in a certain way to avoid the very situation that caused it in the first place. Think about that very carefully. You may often wonder why people act the way they do and claim that you just don’t understand them. If you keep in mind the invisible scars it will help you to realize that they may be acting in a certain way to avoid future scars of the same nature.
Let me give an example; if, when you were a child, you were screamed at every time you spoke up for yourself or every time you crossed someone’s path or got in the way, after a while, you would stop doing those things to avoid the confrontation. Perhaps, you would do everything you could to avoid confrontation all together. This could be a character trait that carries with you into adulthood and may perhaps, last a lifetime. Other people may not understand why you are like that. There is a great possibility that you don’t even understand why you do it or realize the cause of how it developed.
There are many scenarios that could cause scars, even much deeper than this. Since we are the only ones who are with us 24 hours a day, every day of the week, you may not realize what even your best friend or significant other went through during their day or what they have going on in their own head that causes them to act the way they do. Some scars are formed by the things we say to ourselves. These can be just as detrimental as anything someone else says to us.
We all need to be patient with others and realize that they did not experience the same things we did in our lives. They come from different backgrounds, experienced different events and had different ways of interpreting situations. No two people will ever be the same, even twins. We need to have acceptance for that. Once we do, we will relate better to those in our lives and not everything will be a struggle. When someone acts differently from us, we will understand that there are underlying reasons. It is not important to conform everyone to be just like us. That would actually be detrimental. It is not a battle we should even entertain.
If you’d like a visual, look at a still photo of a group of people who are experiencing the same thing. The attached picture here is of my kids with their friends simply looking in the mirror for a photo. Each and every one had a different expression on their face. It’s because each of them were creating their own experience, their own way of interpreting something that simple and their own way of expressing their individuality. It’s fascinating really.
So, the next time you notice someone acting differently from how you would and you find it strange, remember that there are reasons that you may never know, based on scars they may never be able to speak of. Don’t point out that they are wrong or try to change them, merely try to understand that they are just different and they have their own reasons. Acceptance goes a long way.
I encourage you to comment below with your feelings or examples of this and what you got out of it. Please let me know if this helps you in any way. Feel free to share with your friends or follow the blog.
I have started a new blog as well. If you are interested, check out my other page, “Where the Ghosts Live,” which is about all things paranormal, at http://www.WhereTheGhostsLive.wordpress.com.”
6 thoughts on “Every Scar Carries a Fascinating Story”
Wonderful article. It’s same when a group of people see an accident each is seeing things from their own point of view and from their own past experiences.
That’s is so very true. Each person has a different perspective. We need to respect the scars of others and let them be who they are and realize it could be because of something that happened in their lives that we don’t know about. Thank you for visiting.
You hit the nail on the head. SCARS. I have acne scars that for years tormented me when I looked in the mirror. Emotional scars from being bullied in school. Physical scars inside my ankle that left me handicapped. I look fine from the outside, who would know, but you’re right, only we are with us 24 hours a day, and more understanding and forgiveness is needed!
Thank you Adryenn! I’m glad you could relate to this but I’m sorry you have the scars. Once we recognize that we all have them we see people in a different light and healing begins. Thank you for stopping by and contributing. Love it!
Thanks Missy for the reminder that we all have scares and that sometimes they are not always visible to others. When we remember that, it helps us to understand why we sometimes react in negative ways to what people say or do, even if it has nothing to do with them.
I look forward to reading more soon.
The Stepmom Coach
I’m so glad it served as a gentle reminder. I need to remind myself sometimes as well. I’m glad you look forward to reading more. I saw your signature and wanted to also put you in touch with my Sister-In-Law, Peggy Bell Nolan in case you haven’t already met her. Her site is http://www.theStepmomsToolbox.com. She is also on the Ultimate Blog Challenge (not sure if you are doing that but it’s a great free blogging challenge.) Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment.