We all want to think we have things figured out. We think we know other people well, what they are thinking, feeling, what they will do next, etc. But how well do we know ourselves?
Have you ever watched a movie and been blown away by the ending? I know I have and I’m pretty good at figuring out where a plot twist will come in. We can’t always predict what is going to happen in life either. What it boils down to is that we see situations and other people through our eyes only. We have each lived through different circumstances, had different trials and life tests. We think can predict what someone else is thinking through their previous words or actions or based on what we would think in a given situation. What it leaves us with are assumptions.
When someone says or does something, we need to evaluate our own thoughts to see where we stand instead of thinking we know the other person so well.
Something I’ve noticed that I have to work much harder on is owning my own thoughts and perceptions, recognizing them and working to improve myself where I can instead of trying to change the other person. Take a look at what I’ve been noticing and please share your thoughts. I am hoping it helps you to see things in a new way as well:
When I See Someone as: My Truth in That Moment is:
Annoying I need to work on my patience level
Loud I need to patiently realize their need to be heard
Distracting I need to find a way or a different place to focus
Very Demanding I need to understand that person needs my help
Taking Forever I need to breathe and find patience
Judging Me I should realize they are allowed their opinions
Out to Get Me I need to not take things so personal
By turning the focus inward, I am not as annoyed with the other person. It is very easy to push the focus on someone else. That requires much less work on our part. But, if we can work on ourselves, it will bring inner peace by decreasing the stress we feel in these and other situations because once the work is done and we are able to correct how we see things, our frustration levels and short tempers will dissipate and we will be able to sharpen our communication skills with others and improve our relationships.
The best way to make the changes is to listen to your thoughts and recognize the need to turn the focus on yourself.
You can also keep a journal with you. When you feel frustrated with someone write down what frustrates you instead of reacting to that person. Then review if it’s something that you could work on changing within yourself. You may even start to notice a pattern.
I challenge you now to come up with a few of these on your own. Experiment with changing your perception of others to see first if what you are feeling is a sign of something you could personally work on. Feel free to share your findings below:
(Please share with on FaceBook or Twitter.)
10 thoughts on “Improve Your Relationships with Others by Turning the Focus Inward”
You wrote, “What it boils down to is that we see situations and other people through our eyes only.” So true! I’ve learned to view things with this in mind as well. We all have different perspectives. We’re all at different places in our growth. We all have different beliefs. I’m definitely more open and compassionate with this understanding.
Thank you for sharing that Leanne. It’s a concept that is hard to put into words but necessary for us all to understand. What I may see one way, someone else standing next to me may view in a completely different light.
Thank you for your comment. I loved your post today as well.
Dang dang dang…but it’s so much easier to focus on them than me (laughing out loud because I really needed this reminder today for, as Byron Katie says, when you’re in someone else’s business, who’s minding yours!). Oodles of thanks and I’ll put this one to work right away.
Laugh Lots, Love More!
“Who is minding yours!” Fantastic. It’s a constant work in progress for me to remember. I am so glad it spoke to you. I love when that happens.
Thank you for your comment and visiting. I hope you will return often.
I love watching you grow Missy! As we learn we teach & lead by example. Great things are coming your way every day!
Thank you so much Peggy! That means a lot. I just feel that I have learned so much and been blessed with so much that I have an obligation now to share it with others.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
P.S. You are my mentor! Love you!
That makes me smile!
Stopping in from UBC. Wonderful post! I really found your chart “When I See Someone as: My Truth in That Moment is:” to be very informative.
I love hearing that Penny. It makes my day. My purpose in life is to share what I have learned and what I’m currently learning with others in hopes to increase their happiness and peace. So I feel like I have accomplished that when people leave comments like yours. I am truly grateful.
Thank you for your visit. I hope you will return often.
Thank you for stopping by Penny. I’m glad that part was useful. Thank you for your comment. I truly appreciate it.